I could probably write 10 posts alone on hubby & laundry (and who knows.. maybe I will!)
It’s a topic that, at least in my house, has so many different aspects to it:
- The wash cycles for: whites, lights, darks, gentles
- Sorting clothes
- Folding clothes
- Dryer vs non dryer
- Putting clothes away
(I could go on and on…)
Today, I’d like to talk about items that miraculously get laundered but, somehow don’t seem to fit into the category of laundry. Or at least not in hubby’s vocabulary.
In case you are confused (and why wouldn’t you be?), I am referring to linens. And, for the purposes of today.. I’ll even fine tune this more for you. Today, I’d like to specifically talk about towels. Towels that are seemingly laundered by magical fairies at my house!
Hubby admittedly doesn’t really do laundry. It’s sort of one of “my tasks” on our divvy list of household chores. It’s probably better this way, since I actually understand all the subcategories of laundry that I noted above and well, let’s just say, hubby may not even know where our laundry room is. And, since we know “clean is not always clean”, we also must deduce that he perhaps doesn’t understand the definition of dirty??
Anyhow, back to towels.
I think that hubby would use a towel, left on the rack in the bathroom, until it disintegrated into nothing. I have never, ever, as long as I’ve known him, seen him decide on a given day, that a towel is “dirty” and should be laundered. I often even wonder if he realizes that occasionally he’s using fresh, clean towels? This is another unique male trait – the ability to just simply not see the towels as they walk themselves to the laundry room (even though they have to pass through the Man Cave!)
I remember a true story from my college days that perhaps gave me the first glimpse of male mentality when cleaning up towels….
The guys who lived across the hall from me had a smashed pumpkin in their shared bathroom.. the details of WHY are probably unimportant. Suffice to say, they were college guys, and pumpkin smashing apparently provides great comedy? Well, no one cleaned up the remnants of this mushy pumpkin. These guys probably never cleaned up this bathroom at all (remember this was college). What they did do was, toss dirty towels on the floor. Fast forward a few weeks.. I hear excitement from across the hall. And, when I take a look, I see that they are gathered around a discarded wash cloth that had found a home in the corner of the bathroom. This washcloth, which was still damp, had sprouted a new fledgling pumpkin from the seeds that were all over the floor. And, I got to see it first hand: Male EXCITEMENT and PRIDE. They were celebrating the magic of using dirty towels to create something special!
Obviously, there’s no way I’d allow a science experiment in my bathroom, but I have to wonder if his Selective Vision applies to towels also? It seems to be the only explanation I can come up with. We know that hubby only sees what he wants to see… but, in the case of dirty towels, does this also mean he has Selective Smell? Whatever the case, I am forever baffled about why his clothes make it to the hamper (usually) but the towels never do. Unless, perhaps, I’m the one who created a monster, by continually making sure they are laundered? If this is the case, I guess I have to live with it. I cannot just leave hubby’s towels there forever…. because in MY bathroom….. clean actually needs to be clean!
Maybe this is yet another male mystery that will continue to remain unsolved. “The Dirty Towel Mystery”.
Do you have an explanation? If so, I’d love to hear it!
The male rationale for not changing the “dirty” towels is simple–how can it be dirty when you are only using it after you are clean?
I know I have left my hubby’s towel hanging on “his” hook for 2+ weeks and he continues to use it. I will say, since I bought this nice double-hook and mounted it to the wall in the bathroom a few years ago, he DOES hang his towel up all the time now. Once in a while I’ll discover that he has left it sitting on the bed (my side, of course, since it’s the side next to the bathroom) so I very nicely throw it on top of his pillow. Only then does it make it to the laundry room.
But I cannot think of a time when he has taken the towels, all by himself, to the laundry room. In our house, the towels miraculously get changed and washed by the towel fairy. We can go into the issue of changing the sheets, as well, but I’m sure you’ll save that for another day!
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Karyn, I have to admit.. I’ve heard this very same rationale! What is it with men??!! Thank god for that magical fairy 🙂
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I had no idea you could grow a pumpkin from a seed and a dirty wash cloth. This sounds to me like something that must be seen to be believed. By seen I of course mean tried.
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rod we gotta try that out, how cool would that be. i wonder if it works for any other veggies. maybe the wife can become a bathroom farmer? think about it fresh fruit and veggies grown indoors all year round, and it would keep her occupied and possibly using knowledge from various tlc/hgtv/diy shows. maybe if she grows a bumper crop she can go to farmers markets and seel the excess off to yuppies, hippies and anyone else who passes by.
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Craig…. while I greatly appreciate the fact that you are trying to find me a new source of income, I’m sorry to say that you will be banned from the Man Cave if I see one tiny seed enter this house!!
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When my husband and I were first living together I quickly discovered which chores he was better at than I was and visa versa. Throughout the last 30 years plus I have fiercely held onto laundry as being my chore and you have provided the reason why. I would consider any seeds sprouting in the corners of our washroom to be downright creepy and terrifying – pumpkins or otherwise. 😉
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TT ~ I’m right there with you…. creepy & terrifying are the right words. I might even toss in nauseating!
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Man Rule #2372 – When to do Laundry
Shirts – when even you have to admit they smell bad
Pants – when they stand on their own
Underwear – more frequently
Socks – when there are no clean socks, not before
Towels – never need to be laundered
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Carl ~ Based on this, I’m a little frightened to even ask what rules 1-2371 are! I notice you made no mention of sheets… which leads me to believe that there’s some sort of unwritten rule about bedding??!! Again, I think I’m scared of the answer!
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Well, I didn’t want to bog your comments section down with the entire list, but the rule for sheets is to use them until the color becomes non-descript, then hide them.
Otherwise, bedding goes through a stringent cycle:
1) Use until the cat refuses to lie on the bed
2) Use for camping until they begin to attract carrion feeders.
3) Offer a comfortable place for the dog to sleep – at this point, it must be outdoors and away from the house.
4) The composting process is now nearly complete – place shovelfuls of the tattered and decaying bedding in mulch beds around hardy trees – again, away from the house.
No laundering required!
The smell will wash out in two to three years, though only women will notice the smell to begin with.
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Oh Carl….. I may just have to delete your comment. I don’t want you giving hubby any ideas!!!
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