Who The Heck Are You?

Well,  as you may have noticed, I’m not doing all that well managing my life AND my new baby.  This blog was like a distant memory of my past life, beckoning to me from a land far, far away.   I’ve missed you dear blog readers and now that I am getting the tiniest bit of sleep, I’m going to try to get back into the swing of things…..  Good Golly, it’s been 7 weeks!

 

Anywho… it’s been an insane 7 weeks that included 3 trips back to the hospital with our little one…. Very emotionally grueling but I won’t bore you with these details.

 

Today instead,  I’d like to introduce you to someone new in my life……….NO, it’s not my new little bundle of joy like you might expect, it’s a larger version of my baby.  Someone who many of you have come to know and love.  Someone who I share stories about, who makes us laugh, roll our eyes, and oftentimes, makes us wonder what the heck is wrong with an entire species (MEN!).

 

Yes….this person is my hubby.

 

And, I no longer know who the heck he is.  You see, during these past weeks I have a learned a few things:

 

1. Hubby does indeed know where the laundry room is.  As evidenced by the multiple loads of laundry he’s done to help me out (YES!  I did say MULTIPLE!)  AND…. He’s folded said laundry too!
2. He can, in fact, pick up after himself
3. Hubby does actually know how to empty AND load the dishwasher!
4. Hubby even knows how to fold washed bedding/sheets (well, minus the fitted sheet – but this is still mind-blowing!)
5. He can even do some low-grade cleaning!!

 

Heck, hubby has stepped up in so many ways since the baby arrived I couldn’t begin to write them all out into a list.  Normally I write about how silly he can be (he still is).  Or, how annoying he can be (he still is).  Or, how frustrated I can be with him.  BUT, he’s honestly become a different person to help out while I recovered from the physical and emotional toll the pregnancy and new baby have taken on me.

 

Now, you’d think I’d be over the moon that he’s been so great, and while at the surface, this is definitely the case.  I ask you one simple question….. where the heck has this guy been for the last nine years?!

 

In addition to learning that hubby can indeed do all these things I think I learned a far greater lesson:  Apparently I don’t know hubby at all…..

Or perhaps he’s just mastered the art of “training” me to not expect too much from him (sly guy that he is!)  Well, guess what hubby….. I’m onto you now!

 

Either that, or I maybe I should have had a baby 9 years ago!!  (ahhhhh……hindsight…………..)

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A Little Water Never Hurt Anyone

This is a classic post.  It really sums up the absurdity in my house.

 

Oftentimes I talk about the insane disconnect between the male & female brains.  I jokingly share stories about my dear hubby that make many people shake their heads.   I, myself need to shake my head, as I wonder how his brain works.  How it prioritizes.  How it processes information.  How it decides which things are actionable and which are not.

 

Many times I listen to words that are coming out of hubby’s mouth, with my eyes open wide in amazement, and my mouth agape with confusion.

 

This story is one of those times.

 

I’ll start by reminding you that my hubby is not a stupid man.  I would not necessarily classify him as lazy (although, I do sometimes question his execution timelines…).  I probably wouldn’t call him clueless, or oblivious (ok, sometimes he IS oblivious), or simpleminded or unthinking.

 

Now, having said all that…. why oh why, do his actions sometimes directly contradict the intelligent, hard-working man that I married?

 

Follow along and you too, will likely need to shake your and wonder .. “what the heck was he thinking?”

 

We had some friends over to bbq & swim (this happens almost every weekend at our house during the summer).  If you read my last post about The Art of Entertaining, then you know the dynamic of these bbqs.  Hubby spends time outside entertaining our guests, while I run back & forth into the kitchen to make sure people have what they need.

 

Well, this day was no exception and as I was cleaning up after lunch, I made a few trips inside with leftover food & dirty dishes.  Each time I walked through the kitchen, my feet seemed to get wet.  I figured that I had spilled something on the floor so I walked over towards the sink to grab some paper towels and I realized that there seemed to be a pool of water in front of the sink.

 

Side note:  While I’m cleaning up, hubby is at the kitchen counter, on our computer, looking for pictures from our most recent vacation to show some friends outside.

 

So I say, mostly to myself… “What the heck is all over the floor here?”

Hubby: pretty much ignores me and is focused on the computer

Me: “What the…..??? “ as I open the cabinet under the sink “ OH CRAP!”

Hubby: still ignoring me…

Me: “I think the sink is leaking….. there’s water all over the floor and everything in the cabinet is wet”

Hubby:  in his own little world “Do you know where we put the pictures of those sharks?”

Me: “ Oh god… everything’s soaking wet, where is all this water coming from?”  Now, I’m pulling items out one-by-one.. trash bags, dish detergent,, dripping empty grocery bags, sponges, air freshener.. “Hon, I think something’s leaking here…”

 

Pay close attention here or you might miss it……..

 

Hubby:  “Oh yeah… I think the spray nozzle is leaking on the sink”

Me:  “Huh?”  as I’m still removing each item and drying it off with paper towels…

Hubby:  who still hasn’t moved from the computer…  “Yeah, I noticed about 3 days ago that the spray unit was leaking”

Me:  “You noticed days ago that it was leaking??????????”

Hubby:  “yeah, but only if you run the water for a while.”

Me:  “And, you decided what…. that it would fix itself?”

Hubby: “uhm, …… oooooooooh..  I found them!  Here’s the pictures!!”

Me: “You have to be kidding me..”

Hubby “Nope..  I’m going outside show them these pictures!”

 

And then he was gone.  Out the door to continue his entertaining while I sopped up water from the cabinet that apparently had been pooling for 3 days.

 

It was at this point that I turned to his mother.. who did indeed witness this entire exchange. (she was actually taking items from me as I removed them from the cabinet..) And I said,  “You’re lucky that I love him, cause if I didn’t, I’d have to kill him.”

Sad to say…. even his loving, protective mother just shook her head.  He must make her so proud!  🙂

 

And, just for the record, the solution to addressing this leak?  Well, of course, it’s to leave the spray nozzle fully pulled out and permanently lying in the sink.  At least this way it leaks directly into the drain!  Anyone want to take bets on how long we might live like this?????????

(please tell me that I’m not the only one who lives with this type of absurdity!!)

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